Why are we so unkind to ourselves?

Picture this. A husband has a mistress and committed adultery. His wife knew about it. She felt the hurt and questioned herself whether she was the cause of her husband’s actions. Though she did not do anything to hurt the marriage, she continues to have sleepless nights and constantly thinking about her husband’s behaviour. Thinking: What had gone wrong in her marriage? Was it something she did or did not do?

The husband did wrong but his wife suffered with mental anguish. The one to feel guilty must be the husband, instead the wife suffered. This doesn’t make sense. The situation can well be that the wife is the one committing adultery.

Sometimes, we knock ourselves crazy; blame ourselves for events that are beyond our control or actions. Why must one suffer as a result of someone’s action? Would it make more sense that the blameless should be able to let it go and let the wrongful party be afflicted with guilt?

We may need to ask ourselves, “Are we unkind to ourselves?” We can be kind to people and to cats and other living things. Do not forget that we are living beings also, why can’t we treat ourselves better and kinder? So next time when nasty things happen to us and we are not at fault, don’t kick ourselves.

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