We thought that we were being good children when we took care of our elderly parents. We told our mother to take her cocktail of medicines prescribed by her doctor. What was the use of bringing her to her doctor on a regular basis if she refused to take her medicines afterwards? We thought we did the right thing to keep pestering her to take her medicines. My mother would always say that too much medicine would not have its result when she truly needed them in the future. That was warp thinking based on our logical minds. However, my mother was illiterate and was not exposed to the medical world, hence this was her kind of “logic”. So as her children, we got angry and threatened not to take her to the doctors in the future. So we had several unhappy episodes of quarrels and anger with our mother. We meant well but she did not appreciate.
It was only later, we all eased up on asking her to take her medicines. After all, it was her health and she knew better. It was her life and we could not insist on how she wanted to live. The only thing we could do was to let my mother had her way. Looking back, it was easy said than done! We still insisted that she must take her showers everyday. That she hated it very much. We insisted on her taking some food. She refused to open her mouth towards the end. (This worried us a lot.)
I felt that we were too controlling over our mother. I ask myself: How I want to live out my aging years? I want to be able to make my own decisions. I do not want to burden my daughter and my wife with second guessing what I wish in the future. Hear me or read my expressions (if I cannot speak). Be less controlling. Let me have my way. I take the consequences. I know they would mean well, but let me live my life is the one thing I want. No guilt feeling should arise. (I wish I still have a clear mind as I age.)
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